As parents, We should learn the way to handle their tantrums. But it is hardest learning in the world "Uffff". That is what we feel. But it is not that much hard, once your start understanding them properly.
Imagine the below scenario, Fit in yourself there and think what you will do???
Scenario: You are crying lungs out because of deep sadness/cranky emotions that triggered you personally. While you cry, the one very close to you comes close to you and giving tight slap on your face, scolding you to stop crying on the spot. How do you react at that moment? You stop crying a very next second or you cry more than before??? You feel left alone or you feel safe by words & action of your closed one at that moment???
Even as adults that solution doesn't serve the purpose of problem. How for toddlers it serve the purpose?? But still it happens to toddlers because we as adults think "Toddlers don't have serious emotions". Because we adults think "Toddler's Tantrums are fake cry with zero emotions".
But reality is Toddlers have much deeper emotions than us. But the difference is they do not express the same in much articulated way as adults we do express our emotions.
How to handle Tantrums:
1.Never insult the child while they are in mood swings/upset.
2.Handling the situation doesn't meant stopping them from crying.But understanding them totally. Finding the root cause for their tantrums.
3.Sometimes with proper reasons they throw tantrums & sometimes even without valid reasons. For us it is not valid, but for them it is valid. So find out the invalid reasons to validate on behalf of them.
4.Evaluate once, which behaviour of "You or their surroundings" triggered their tantrums. Correct yourself first before targetting the child.
5.Hitting them never helps.
6.When they are in calm mental state, discuss the same without making them feel guilt. And keep on giving them "The assurance of acceptance from your end"
Here I share an incident of my 5 yrs old son. Few weeks before at play park. There were two swings. I did swinging both for him & his friend. Suddenly he had doubt whether I do swing fast for his friend than him? He got down from swing and started throwing tantrums.Cried Argued with me stating that "Amm you did swinging action faster to my friend than to me". I knelt down, hugged him & explained with patience "Vihaan Kanna please trust Amma. Amma did swinging at equal speed for you both".
But still he was not ready to accept same. Then he slowly stopped crying when his friend consoled him. But still he was much upset with me. But still I noticed a sign of moving on to play with his friend further. Due to my leg pain, I thought to sit on bench. When I sat, immediately within 3 mins he ran to me and started beating me(First time he did beat me at common place). I was shocked but still understood him completely.
Then I accompanied him at play area again and said "Vihaan amma love you. Again Amma wants to confirm you that I did swinging at equal speed to you". After this conversion he became completely normal and happily played with his friends like nothi g happened.
We reached home from play area. After one hr, when he is in quite normal & happy mood at home, I did below conversation.
1.Vihaan Khanna I totally understand the reason of your upset in park.
2.Amma assure that next time I do swing for you at best.
3.Even in our anger mood, we should not hurt others by beating. If amma set wrong example for you at any point of time, sorry for the same. As Amma awlays say, I am open to correct mistakes of mine. Hope you too.
4. Feel safe always at amma's presence. Becauze I love you.
Finally Vihaan gave tight hug to me and said "Amma sorry. I will not repeat it again".
His words are not guaranteed one. He might throw same type of tantrum once again. Because he is a toddler. And throwing tantrum is part of his childhood. So I am ready to handle it once again. Are you ready to handle your children's tantrum in more positive way??
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